How to be Charismatic: 10 habits of charismatic people!

Some people instantly make us feel important. Some people instantly make us feel special. Some people light up a room just by walking in.

We can’t always define it, but some people have it: They’re naturally charismatic.

Unfortunately, natural charisma quickly loses its impact. Familiarity breeds, well, familiarity.

But some people are remarkably charismatic: They build and maintain great relationships, consistently influence (in a good way) the people around them, consistently make people feel better about themselves–they’re the kind of people everyone wants to be around…and wants to be.

Fortunately we can, because being remarkably charismatic isn’t about our level of success or our presentation skills or how we dress or the image we project–it’s about what we do.

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Here are the 10 habits of remarkably charismatic people:

 

1. They listen way more than they talk.

Ask questions. Maintain eye contact. Smile. Frown. Nod. Respond–not so much verbally, but nonverbally.

That’s all it takes to show the other person they’re important.

Then when you do speak, don’t offer advice unless you’re asked. Listening shows you care a lot more than offering advice, because when you offer advice in most cases you make the conversation about you, not them.

Don’t believe me? Who is “Here’s what I would do…” about: you or the other person?

Only speak when you have something important to say–and always define important as what matters to the other person, not to you.

2. They don’t practice selective hearing.

Some people–I guarantee you know people like this–are incapable of hearing anything said by the people they feel are somehow beneath them.

Sure, you speak to them, but that particular falling tree doesn’t make a sound in the forest, because there’s no one actually listening.

Remarkably charismatic people listen closely to everyone, and they make all of us, regardless of our position or social status or “level,” feel like we have something in common with them.

Because we do: We’re all people.

3. They put their stuff away.

Don’t check your phone. Don’t glance at your monitor. Don’t focus on anything else, even for a moment.

You can never connect with others if you’re busy connecting with your stuff, too.

Give the gift of your full attention. That’s a gift few people give. That gift alone will make others want to be around you and remember you.

4. They give before they receive–and often they never receive.

Never think about what you can get. Focus on what you can provide. Giving is the only way to establish a real connection and relationship.

Focus, even in part and even for a moment, on what you can get out of the other person, and you show that the only person who really matters is you.

5. They don’t act self-important…

The only people who are impressed by your stuffy, pretentious, self-important self are other stuffy, pretentious, self-important people.

The rest of us aren’t impressed. We’re irritated, put off, and uncomfortable.

And we hate when you walk in the room.

6. …Because they realize other people are more important.

You already know what you know. You know your opinions. You know your perspectives and points of view.

That stuff isn’t important, because it’s already yours. You can’t learn anything from yourself.

But you don’t know what other people know, and everyone, no matter who they are, knows things you don’t know.

That makes them a lot more important than you–because they’re people you can learn from.

7. They shine the spotlight on others.

No one receives enough praise. No one. Tell people what they did well.

Wait, you say you don’t know what they did well?

Shame on you–it’s your job to know. It’s your job to find out ahead of time.

Not only will people appreciate your praise, they’ll appreciate the fact you care enough to pay attention to what they’re doing.

Then they’ll feel a little more accomplished and a lot more important.

8. They choose their words.

The words you use impact the attitude of others.

For example, you don’t have to go to a meeting; you get to go meet with other people. You don’t have to create a presentation for a new client; you get to share cool stuff with other people. You don’t have to go to the gym; you get to work out and improve your health and fitness.

You don’t have to interview job candidates; you get to select a great person to join your team.

We all want to associate with happy, enthusiastic, fulfilled people. The words you choose can help other people feel better about themselves–and make you feel better about yourself, too.

9. They don’t discuss the failings of others…

Granted, we all like hearing a little gossip. We all like hearing a little dirt.

The problem is, we don’t necessarily like–and we definitely don’t respect–the people who dish that dirt.

Don’t laugh at other people. When you do, the people around you wonder if you sometimes laugh at them.

10. …But they readily admit their failings.

Incredibly successful people are often assumed to have charisma simply because they’re successful. Their success seems to create a halo effect, almost like a glow.

Keyword is seem.

You don’t have to be incredibly successful to be remarkably charismatic. Scratch the shiny surface, and many successful people have all the charisma of a rock.

But you do have to be incredibly genuine to be remarkably charismatic.

Be humble. Share your screwups. Admit your mistakes. Be the cautionary tale. And laugh at yourself.

While you should never laugh at other people, you should always laugh at yourself.

People won’t laugh at you. People will laugh laugh with you.

They’ll like you better for it–and they’ll want to be around you a lot more.

 

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Men and Women Really Do See Things Differently

Men and women really don’t see eye to eye, according to a new study.

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Females are better at discriminating among colors, researchers say, while males excel at tracking fast-moving objects and discerning detail from a distanceevolutionary adaptations possibly linked to our hunter-gatherer past.

(See more health news.)

The study, led by Brooklyn College psychology professor Israel Abramov, put young adults with normal vision through a battery of tests.

In color experiments the men and women tended to ascribe different shades to the same objects. The researchers think they know why.

“Across most of the visible spectrum males require a slightly longer wavelength than do females in order to experience the same hue,” the team concludes in the latest issue of the journal Biology of Sex Differences.

Since longer wavelengths are associated with “warmer” colors, an orange, for example, may appear redder to a man than to a woman. Likewise, the grass is almost always greener to women than to men, to whom verdant objects appear a bit yellower.

(Also see “Men’s Offices Have More Bacteria, Study Finds.”)

The study also found that men are less adept at distinguishing among shades in the center of the color spectrum: blues, greens, and yellows.

Where the men shone was in detecting quick-changing details from afar, particularly by better tracking the thinner, faster-flashing bars within a bank of blinking lights.

The team puts this advantage down to neuron development in the visual cortex, which is boosted by masculine hormones. Since males are flush with testosterone, in particular, they’re born with 25 percent more neurons in this brain region than females, the team noted.

(Related: “Why Deaf Have Enhanced Vision.”)

Evolution at Work?

The vision findings support the so-called hunter-gatherer hypothesis, which argues that the sexes evolved distinct psychological abilities to fit their prehistoric roles, the team says. (See “Sex-Based Roles Gave Modern Humans an Edge, Study Says.”)

Noting that men in the study showed “significantly greater sensitivity for fine detail and for rapidly moving stimuli,” the researchers write that their hunter forebears “would have to detect possible predators or prey from afar and also identify and categorize these objects more easily.”

(See “Video Games Improve Vision, Study Says.”)

Meanwhile, the vision of female “gatherers” may have become better adapted recognizing close-at-hand, static objects such as wild berries.

John Barbur, professor of optics and visual science at City University London, noted that females are often “worse off in terms of absolute chromatic [color] sensitivity than males.”

But when it comes to noticing subtle differences among shades of a color, women do tend to come out on top, as they did in Abramov’s experiments, said Barbur, who wasn’t part of the new study.

“If you’re not dealing with the absolute sensitivity for color detection but the way in which colors are judged—such as the ability to describe a color, or what that color means, and so on,” he said, “I’d say that females are definitely much better than males.”

Reverse Psychology

Reverse psychology is a psychological trick wherein a person states the opposite of what he/she wants in the hopes that the person of whom he/she is making the request will defy his/her stated wishes, thus giving him/her what he/she wants.

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How Does Reverse Psychology Work?
Reverse psychology capitalizes on a person’s desire for independence, and subtly conveys that a person can be independent by defying another person’s wishes. For this reason, it is commonly used with children who wish to express their independence by rebelling against their parents. A mother might, for example, tell her four-year-old, “I think you should stay up forever!” The child, confused by his/her mother’s exclamation and wishing to assert his/her own decision-making abilities might then choose to go to bed. Parents might also use a more subtle version of reverse psychology with teenage children by exclaiming they love something they actually hate. The teen, who thinks his/her parents are hopelessly unhip, might then choose a different outfit, movie, or song in an attempt to defy his/her parents, thereby inadvertently actually obeying his/her parents’ wishes.

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Bisexual Chic

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About forty years ago, bisexuality rather suddenly became considered quite stylish in America and much of Europe, a symbol of sophistication and confidence. As gays did a decade or so earlier, bisexuals were “coming out” en masse in the mid-seventies, no longer assigned to the margins of society. “It has become very fashionable in elite and artistically creative subgroups to be intrigued by the notion of bisexuality,” said Norman Fisk, a psychiatrist at Stanford University, thinking it could very well be “a sociological phenomenon.” The feminist movement was no doubt playing a role in the increasing popularity of bisexuality, as was the greater recognition of the “clitoral orgasm.” Widespread use of the birth control pill had also helped to propel bisexuality by encouraging a climate of recreational (versus procreational) sex, this one more legacy of the sexual revolution.

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How to be sucessful in life 13 Tips From The World’s Most Successful People

No matter how old you are, where you’re from or what you do for a living, we all share something in common—a desire to be successful. Each person’s definition of success is different, however, as some may define success as being a loving and faithful spouse or a caring and responsible parent, while most people would equate success with wealth, fame, and power.

We all want to achieve success so we could live a comfortable life—have financial freedom, drive a nice car, and live in a beautiful house. However, although success can be achieved, it does not come easy.

There are a lot of tips and strategies out there on how to be successful in life, but I am still a firm believer that there is no better way to succeed than to follow that footsteps of those who have already done so. Here are 13 success tips from some of the world’s most successful and renowned people:

1.Think big.

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.

From Michelangelo Buonarroti, Great Renaissance Artist: “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

2.Find what you love to do and do it.

You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job, and not be paid for it.

From Oprah Winfrey, Media Mogul: “You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job and not be paid for it.”

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